Mother’s Day in the Mother City

Mother’s Day in the Mother City – The Neuroscience of Mother-Child relationships

By Dr Samantha J. Brooks Ph.D.

It’s the time of year that we demonstrate our love and devotion to our mothers – and thank them for all the hard work they put in to raising us over the years!  Neuroscience research examining the attachments we had with our mothers or caregivers as children shows us what our relationship patterns are likely to be in adulthood.

Neuroscience shows us that thankfully, the vast majority of people in any given society had what is called a secure-attachment with their mother or caregiver. This means that most people in adulthood have active strategies to develop a sense of independence (proximity removal) from their mother or caregiver – just like birds who eventually fly the nest!  This means that people who were securely attached to their mother or caregiver as a child will engage in the world as an active researcher – and will not fear spontaneously exploring their world.  And as such, securely attached individuals view themselves positively and have positive relationships with others.  Think of Nelson Mandela’s attachment to his mother – he would one day return to the nest that he left, to make her proud of his wonderful worldly achievements!

However, neuroscience also shows us that there are minorities of individuals who had different styles of attachment to their mother or caregiver as a child.  These other types of attachment are called avoidant, unresolved or pre-occupied.

Children who had an avoidant attachment experienced a mother or caregiver who was either emotionally unavailable or inconsistent in emotional responding.  This type of attachment might create an adult who is driven to be detached or emotionally unavailable in relationships.  This will show in adulthood as an irritable character who develops a view that others are variable, and that their own true self is inaccessible to others.  Such people in adulthood might take great pride in feeling inaccessible to others, and refuse to admit dependency on others.  We may wish to consider the relationship that Jacob Zuma had with his mother, as during his presidency he appeared to relish his inaccessibilty, while denying that his popularity depended on the will of the South African people.

In contrast, those who had what is called an unresolved attachment to their mother or caregiver during childhood, while also trying to detach from others in adulthood, will additionally feel hostile to the outside world.  People from an unresolved child-mother relationship will feel scared of others in adulthood, and view themselves as either victims (weak) or as heroes (strong).  We may wish to consider the plight of Oscar Pistorius and the relationship he may have had with his caregiver.  While on the one hand, he saw himself as a hero for the nation, winning medals at the olympics, he also seemed, in the end, to be so afraid of society that he slept with a gun under his pillow.


And finally, people with a preoccupied attachment style would have experienced a mother or caregiver who was uncertain in feelings towards them as a child.  People with a preoccupied attachment with their caregiver will adopt manipulative behaviours in adulthood in an attempt to gain a sense of nearness to a person they have a relationship with. Such behaviours will be driven by a sense of dependence and fear that they may lose their significant other in adulthood.  And such an adult will learn to view themselves as having an ‘uncaring’ attitude, or what is called conditioned amiability, while at the same time viewing others as untrustworthy or unpredictable. One may think of the many gangsters who have found themselves living on the Cape Flats, whose communities were torn apart during the 1960s.  Gangsters may have had a preoccupied attachment style as their families spent their energies instead, trying to cope with the forced removals of the Apartheid government.  This would certainly help to explain why gangsters appear uncaring and not able to trust others.

So when we celebrate Mother’s Day this year, especially if you are a new mother, think about the importance of attachment between mother and child.  And be thankful that most in society have had a secure attachment with their mother, which makes most of us view ourselves, the world and others in a positive light.  Happy Mother’s Day to all our wonderful mothers, who do the best they can!

Dr Samantha Brooks is a cognitive neuroscientist specialising in the neural correlates of impulse control from eating disorders to addiction.  For more information on neuroscience and to contact Samantha, see www.drsamanthabrooks.com.

Click to read all previous articles by Dr Samantha J. Brooks Ph.D.







You’re never too young to buy property


You’re never too young to buy property.

Getting a toehold in the property market as soon as possible is a smart move – even for young single people taking their first steps on a career path.

That’s the word from Rudi Botha, CEO of BetterBond, SA’s biggest bond originator, who says young adults who hold off on buying their first property until they have settled in to a new job or until they get married are losing out on an opportunity to start building real wealth.

“It is true that as a young person you may be a prime candidate for company transfers, especially if you are single and newly-qualified. You may also be worried about getting ‘stuck’ with a property that your future partner won’t like or is too small for a family.

“But a residential property is not just a place to live. It is also an asset that appreciates in value, unlike cars, clothes, furniture and other things that young people tend to buy, and a great savings mechanism at the same time.”

According to the latest FNB House Price Index, he notes, property prices in SA are currently 90,8% higher, in real (after inflation) terms than they were in 2001. “In simple terms, this means that the property buyer who bought a R1m property with a R100 000 deposit (investment) in 2001 would have made a return of almost 1000% on that initial investment, and the younger you are when you buy, the more chance you have of achieving such long-term returns. 

“In addition, buyers who put spare cash into their bond account will not only get a better effective rate of interest (tax free) than they would on money deposited to a bank savings account, but also stand to cut many thousands of rands off the total cost of their home by paying it off early.

“If you had a bond of R1m, for example, and were able to pay an additional R600 a month off the outstanding balance of your bond at an interest rate of 10%, you would reduce the loan term from 20 years to 16 years and 10 months, and save more than R245 000 worth of interest.

“And as long as a home is increasing in value and the bond is decreasing, the owner is building up equity in the property, which can be used as security for other investments, emergency funding or a deposit for another property if they decide to sell and move on. This sort of wealth creation obviously doesn’t happen when you rent.”

Now is also a good time to buy, says Botha, because prices are very negotiable and the banks are keen to lend to home buyers. “But young buyers do still need to be careful not to over-extend themselves financially. Enlisting the help of a reputable bond originator like BetterBond to obtain bond pre-qualification is the best way to find out how much they can comfortably afford to spend, and they should also work out how much it will take to run and maintain a property before they sign a sales agreement.”

Issued by etc

Anne-Marie Bamber is Norgarb Properties dedicated Home Loans Consultant. She has over 15 years’ experience in assisting clients with their Home Loan needs and has placed many happy families in their dream homes.

Contact her today for no cost stress-free home-buying.
Anne-Marie Bamber
Home Loans consultant
Tel: +27 (0)21 851 3568 | Fax: +27 (0)21 441 1494 | Cell: +27 (0)82 071 1665
E-mail: anne-marie.bamber@betterlife.co.za









May in the Garden


May: A Month for Mulch!

Temperatures are cooling down, and there's been some scarce but wonderful rain – here's to plenty more this Autumn!

Mulch is a great way to help your plants make the most of the water they get, as it prevents some of the evaporation. When I learned about permaculture gardening, my teacher made us stand out in the sun at midday for a while in silence. We soon started getting uncomfortable, and after letting us sweat and start to feel the burn, he smiled and said "How was that? Hot, right? If you don't like it, and you can move to the shade any time, imagine what it's like for the soil?" Since that unforgettable experience, as much as for the ample rationale reasons and undoubted benefits, I am a serious mulch advocate. Autumn is the perfect time for mulching, because as the weeks pass the leaves fall and can be repurposed in the ecosystem as mulch. Rather than throw them out, layer them into your compost or use them on top of your garden beds or in your pots.

For those of you keen on planting veg this month, here's May's list:
Broad Beans, Broccoli, Cabbage, Calendula, Chard, Celery, Chinese Cabbage, Chives, Chilli Pepper, Kohlrabi, Garlic, Leek, Leaf Mustard, Lettuce, Onion, Parsley, Parsnip, Peas, Potato, Radish.

ROASTED BABY TOMATOES


This recipe improves with age.  Can be stored in a jar in the fridge.  Use as a side dish with main meal or with pasta, salads or on sandwiches.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 250gms ripe baby tomatoes
  • Salt and freshly ground pepper
  • 5mls brown sugar
  • 1 clove garlic, crushed
  • 15 – 20 basil leaves, torn
  • 50mls olive oil


DRESSING:
50mls balsamic vinegar and 60mls olive oil, combined

METHOD:

  1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees
  2. Place tomatoes in baking dish and season well
  3. Sprinkle with sugar, garlic and basil.  Drizzle with olive oil
  4. Roast for 30 minutes.
  5. Allow to cool to room temperature
  6. Drizzle dressing over tomatoes.


Lyn Staples, Norgarb Properties Estate Agent
Cell: +27 (0)82 846 0739 | Office: +27 (0)21 674 1120 | Fax: +27 (0)21 774 4927
Email: lyn@norgarbproperties.co.za
Focus Areas: Kenilworth & Claremont Village

IMPORTANT SAPS INFORMATION


In an emergency, the ONLY number residents should be contacting is SAPS on 10111 or their private security provider. Calls made to 10111 are recorded and the operator will dispatch the closest SAPS vehicle to the crime scene, even one not allocated to the Claremont precinct. As a result of the calls being recorded, response times can be measured. This is not possible if you phone your local police station.



If a resident or business owner is dissatisfied with the service level of SAPS, they should address a formal complaint to Col Louw, the station commander at Claremont SAPS. Her e-mail address is claremont.sc@saps.gov.za. Please always take down the details of the police officer/s who responded to your incident and include these in your e-mail.

If you do not receive a satisfactory response, you can contact the SAPS Service Complaints Centre to register a complaint. You can either call 0800 33 177 or fax to 012-393 5452 or e-mail ComplaintsNodalPoint@saps.gov.za

JENNI COLEMAN
Manager - Harfield Village Community Improvement District (HVCID)
Cel: 081 412 6109   E-mail: admin@hvcid.co.za

Railway Clean-up & More


Harfield Village Carnival
We raised nearly R10000 at the Carnival last weekend! Thanks to everyone who came and chatted to us on the day, and to those who bought plants from our stall outside the Oggi shop on Second Avenue. The Carnival is our biggest yearly fundraising opportunity, and all the money we make goes to keeping our parks clean and vibrant. This year, we’re aiming to plant indigenous plants sourced from local contributors (and the Kenilworth Racecourse Conservation Centre, kindly provided by Communitree), as well as install a rainwater tank in Purley Park.

We’d like to give special thanks to the following individuals and organisations:

• Ingrid Riemeyer, whose hard work was absolutely invaluable in sourcing plants, organising transport and storage
• Flora Jubilee, for donating the beautiful lilies and many succulents.
• Francine, Tina, Thomas, Lala and Di for coming along to plant up mornings, helping with the carting of plants to the stall, making up the stall and taking it down again and for manning the stall during the day!
• John for carrying plants around and helping at the stall.
• Thanks to Gail and Oggi for storing everything overnight and allowing the use of the verandah on the day.

Congratulations to Shital Raghavjee: The winner of our John Bauer planter pot and beautiful Aloe donated by Ingrid.
Railway Cleanup - 5 May
Our annual Railway Cleanup is a fabulous way to get involved in maintaining the neighbourhood as a clean and beautiful place to live and we really need your help to do this.  This year’s Railway Cleanup will be on Sunday 5 May. We’ll be assembling at Kenilworth station at 8.30am and working our way down to Surrey Park just beyond Harfield Station. If you’ll be joining us on the day, please remember to bring gloves and wear sturdy shoes, bags will be provided. If you’d like to sponsor a labourer for the day, please contact Gail Morrison.


Ruth's plant posts
Thanks again to Ruth for the fantastic plant photos and extensive captions on Facebook. We really appreciate your continued contributions and look forward to seeing what you snap next!

Garden Party - 18 May 2019
Due to being a bit exhausted after the Carnival, there'll be no garden party for April. The next gardening party will be on 18 May, 09:00 - 13:00 at Hampstead Park. Donations of mulch, grey water and labour are always appreciated. Hope to see you there!

Polyphagous shothole borer
Unfortunately, an infestation of Polyphagous shothole borer beetle has been confirmed in Somerset West. The FOHP are tracking the trees in the park using the iNaturalist app, and part of that exercise will involve checking them for signs of shothole borer infestation (wilted brown leaves on infested branches, and brown stains around the holes where the beetle has penetrated the tree. You can report any signs on the Cape Town Invasives website, and we will be putting up laminated flyers on the park message boards.

Sectional Title Complexes and Generators

With elections around the corner and the spotlight on Eskom and possible Stage 6 load shedding, more and more people are installing generators. Freehold property owners can do so at will, but what are your rights as an owner in a sectional title scheme?
In terms of annexure 9 of the Sectional Titles Act (the Act), an owner of a section may not store any materials (such as petrol), do or cause to be done any dangerous act that may lead to the increase of the rate levied in terms of any insurance policy. Further, in terms of Section 44(1)(e) of the Act, an owner or occupier of a section may not use his section or exclusive use area in a way that would cause nuisance to any other occupier in the scheme. Generators are generally very noisy and produce the highly toxic odourless, colourless gas carbon monoxide. In order to change the rules to allow for the installation of generators, a special resolution has to be obtained. This requires agreement from at least 75% of the owners in the scheme. This is often very difficult to obtain when not all owners can afford or have the need for a generator.

There are, however, alternative solutions for sectional title owners who are left in the dark. The trustees of the Body Corporate may elect to install a generator on the common property that would benefit all owners of sections in the scheme. To fund this, the reserve fund could be utilised in limited circumstances, or by way of a special levy. Failing this, individual owners can install safe and silent inverters in their sections or exclusive use areas without contravention of the applicable sections and prescribed management rules of the Act.

Contact Martin Sheard of STBB for any property related queries at MartinS@stbb.co.za.

STBB Claremont



www.harfield-village.co.za
www.facebook.com/harfield.village.community